So Mateo has turned 2!!! 😊😊😊We had a small birthday party with family and friends at our place. (If you want to watch a short video of his birthday, the link is below –
In this post, I talk about some of the things that I have learned in the past 2 years since becoming a mum.
I share some important things that I wish someone told me in my first year of parenting. I hope this post gives you some guidance and makes the first 2 years with your bundle of joy a little less stressful. 😁💋
Parenting is not easy!
So being a mum to one child was hard enough, but when I became a mother to a toddler and a newborn it definitely wasn’t a walk in the park. I think what is important to remember is that all mums have good days and bad days. Sometimes Mateo and Luka wake up so happy and in the best mood, and other days let’s just say they wake up “on the wrong side of the bed”. 🤷♀️This is completely normal and you eventually learn to deal with their moods. What I’ve learned to do when it does seem like a “bad day” is to give them my full attention- alll day! (I don’t worry about the house work/dishes/cleaning etc ). I just focus on the boys. We dance, play, read and go for a walk.😁 This makes a massive difference, and completely changes their mood around. Spending time with my children and not worrying about anything els is something that I look forward to everyday.
If your not a parent , you will never understand!
For so long now I’ve gotten so frustrated when others put in their opinions about my parenting. Even the ones that don’t have children seem to think they know what parenting is like. I personally don’t think that you will understand what it’s like to be a mother, until you become one. The first year after having Mateo, I had so many opinions and advice thrown at me about the right way to parent. I eventually just had to be honest and tell everyone “I’m the mum, and I will do what I think is the best for my child”. Believe it on not it actually worked, and everyone stopped putting their two cents in. (Sometimes this is what needs to be done in order for you to stay sane. Believe me I would know lol).
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
I’ll start of by saying that their is no such thing as a PERFECT Mum! It has taken me a while to realise this and still today I can be hard on myself when I seem to fail. Examples could be if the house is a mess, Or if I yell at Mateo when he misbehaves. I know we mums can over think a lot sometimes and beat our selves up over the smallest things. What I tend to do on days that aren’t going to plan is write it down .
Eg- Yelling at Mateo when his misbehaving instead of telling him nicely what he has done wrong etc.
I ask myself – “What I can possible do to make myself a littler better and not feel so bad for yelling at him”?
Solution – Kiss Mateo and tell him your sorry and to not throw his toys around lol.
This approach works for me and in a few minutes I feel so much better and don’t feel guilty for yelling at him.🙂 I’m a big believer in talking to your kids nicely, even if they do misbehave. I feel as this approach strengths my relationship with son.
One thing that all parents will have to deal with is their child’s sleep patterns. Mateo has already started hiding when he hears his dad say “It’s bedtime!” It’s the cutest thing, but can also be reallly frustrating to get him to bed. (Thankfully once his asleep, he sleeps all night and dosn’t wake up untill the next morning). The important thing to remember is that all children will adjust to sleeping in their own time. Whilst one child may sleep through the night straight away, others may need a little more time to get used to their routines. I think it’s important to remember that all children are different, and they all learn in their own ways.
Children and Tantrums
Ok one thing to remember here is that “EVERY Child”is going to have a melt down/ Tantrum. It is part of their development and it is completely normal. Parents should not be ashamed and embarrassed when this happeneds. Children are developing everyday and are not able to communicate and express their feelings. The only way they feel heard is by throwing a tantrum. (Boy, I wish someone told me this earlier!! ). I think mums think if their child misbehaves/has a tantrum that it’s a reflection on their parenting, and let me tell you this is NOT true. Children will be children, and when I see Mateo is about to throw a tantrum, I let him!!! I let him get it out of his system and within minutes he is totally fine. (Even if it’s in public lol). If you want to read further into how to discipline your children read the book by-
Daniel J Siegel,MD and Tina Payne Bryson
No-Drama discipline/ The whole- brain way To calm the chaos and nature your child’s developing mind
Motherhood and Comparison
This is properly why I don’t have a lot of mum friends. lol I can’t stand when mums compare their children with other children. Like I said previously, all children are different and while some are more advance others may just need more time. I’ve learned that Mateo is a much more emotional baby whiles Luka is more quiet and content. Both my boys are completely different and I allow them to express themselves any way they want (even if it’s with tantrums). Every mother will parent in their own ways and I think all mothers should support and encourage each other.
I’ve mentioned self care a few times on my blog, but I think it’s so important to continue to remind mums that they are important as well, and need to be natured and taken care of too. As the boys are getting older, I find I literally have less and less time as they need more of my attention during the day. I know right! I thought it would be the opposite, but it’s not. 🤷♀️😳 Give yourself a break and book your self a massage when you feel over worked and depleted, I do it all the time! 💋
I hope this gives you a little insight on the challenges and learning I have undergone as a mother in the last 2 years. Like I said, we are not perfect, and all we can do is continue to learn and do the best we can for our children.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful mums, grandmas and aunties 💋💋
“To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world” unknown